Chapstick Lesbian

I've wondered about you. . . quite A LOT. Yes, it's rather strange. I saw you standing there, putting chapstick on your lips. It was the very same time I reached into my 'cross the shoulder bag and pulled out my natural pink-color enhancing lip gloss to apply to my lips. Were you being my copy cat?
. . . then you shot me the love sign. I'm kidding, that's how I like to make the story go. You really did your British/aw shucks head nod to me. I smirked and sunk down in my seat. Yep, I remember that moment.

Sleep

Oh the sounds people make in their sleep. . .

Gay kids in rural America

http://www.autostraddle.com/mary-gray-knows-what-it-feels-like-for-gay-kids-in-rural-america-89257/

Mary Gray Knows What it Feels Like For Gay Kids in Rural America

Mary Gray, the queer author of Out in the Country: Youth, Media, and Queer Visibility in Rural America and In Your Face: Stories from the Lives of Queer Youth,sat down for an Autostraddle interview about the lives of rural LGBT teens. Out in The Country shatters some stereotypes about life in a small town and reinforces others. I first discovered Gray’s work in a gender studies class and was excited to meet her when she visited Tulane University. In person Gray is warm, engaging, and incredibly intelligent— and um, really attractive! During our interview Gray discussed rural realities, queer identity claim making, violence, and the girls she couldn’t put in the book. In addition to research and writing, Mary Gray is an Assistant Professor in the Department of Communication and Culture at Indiana University, Bloomington. You can buy Out in the Country HERE

Chloe: Tell me how and why you conceived the idea of Out in the Country?

Mary Gray: I grew up in a small town and I was really curious by the time I grew what it would be like to stay put. I didn’t like it, I didn’t hate it, but I definitely got a sense that if I wanted my life to look different than what was around me I’d have to leave and go to school. I wanted to imagine what politics could happen in a hometown like mine.

What was the age range and socioeconomic status of the people you interviewed for Out in The Country?

I focused on folks who were 14 to 24. I wanted to mostly focus on people who were under 18 and didn’t have the means to leave. Most of the people I worked with were working class, working poor, either on social security insurance or they have service jobs.

How would you say the experience of female sex LGBT youth differed from male sex LGBT youth?

The young men who were gay identifying had a little more room to be fairly open about their identities. Several of them commented that it was something they had always been told they were, so it was no surprise to anyone when they came out. The men were always “the gay kid,” but I didn’t meet any women who said “I was always the lesbian.” I would argue a lot of that is because in terms of representative and visibility a lot of the representations we have are of gay, white men, which isn’t true for women. We really don’t have a consistent representation of what kind of room one makes for a lesbian or bi identifying women in popular culture. The biggest difference is that there’s an accessible public identity that was always pinned on young men but wasn’t available for young women.

Does that seem like a negative or positive to you?

Both. I think women weren’t constantly pressured to make claims about their identity. While the young men would often comment about being the one gay kid, they were also consistently harassed from a very young age. That wasn’t the case with women. People didn’t assume they were gay for being a tomboy or athletic. So women certainly talked about being able to fly under the radar. At the same time, most women in their communities the step after high school was getting married and they didn’t want that either. I don’t think they had the room to say, as part of their identity, this was or was not about being a specific guy. Particularly for women who really wanted to be with other women I think they felt conflicted about the lack of ability of settling down.

How did the community reaction differ for women?

Because women were not assumed to be hiding something nor did they have the pressure to come out, I think that affected how they were harassed. The young women who were the most gender nonconforming were the ones who got harassed the most. If there was the level physical violence that men discussed, they weren’t willing to talk about it. It’s tough to know what kind of violence happens to young women, who constantly have to prove something about their gender through their sexuality. Being physically available to men was a way of coping. I definitely know that some young women felt remaining sexually available to young men was a way of keeping the peace. That’s pretty violent. It’s tough to say in terms of harassment because young men talked about more stories of physical abuse but I think young women experienced a different kind of abuse.

That’s a good point because I think media representations of gay women and men are so different. Girls are ok as long as ultimately they’re performing for men, and that’s equally toxic.

Absolutely, I totally agree… And I think that’s precisely why there was some room given to homoeroticism between women, but only up to a point. The mentality is as long as it’s contained and has nothing to do with a relationship, we’re good here. I think that’s one of the places women struggled the most was, “how do I lay claim to specific identities and be part of a broader queer nation of women if I’m expected to act like a lady, marry, and be a mother”? I think things will really shift in the next decade or so because people won’t find it contradictory to be a queer women and a mom. It’s really rocking people’s world right now that it’s an option.

What factors do you think influenced the level of visibility?

I think the things that limited someone’s visibility were precisely the things that enabled it. The expectation that they’re going to be visible, out, loud, and proud was a testament to them. There was a group of guys who had a car with a rainbow sticker on it. Whenever they went through a specific county, they would peel off the rainbow sticker. I asked, ”Don’t you feel like your closeting yourself, doesn’t that feel demeaning that you can’t have your rainbow sticker on all the time?” One of them responded “I’m not less gay when I take the rainbow sticker off my car. I just know that if I have that in my car, I’m going to piss off people who are already angry at me.”

How did religion play LGBT experiences?

Many were ambivalent towards organized religion, but still felt a deep spirituality. Not too many of them seemed to be too broken up about not being in their church because I don’t think they necessarily associated their church with their sense of spirituality or religion… For the parents, I was surprised by how many of them turned to faith as a source of support for their children. One of my favorite families included a young person transitioning from female to male, whose mom was amazingly supportive woman. When I asked, “Where did your support for your child come from?” she replied, “You know, I’m a very religious person. God doesn’t make trash. So my child is not trash.”

What stereotypes or preconceptions about LGBT life in rural areas did you find most inaccurate?

The idea that everyone is going to be a hater. More often than not I found folks were either neutral or positive, and just didn’t have the forum to say they were absolutely fine with LGBT identifying people.

What negative stereotypes or preconceptions about LGBT life in rural areas were true?

Substance abuse. One of the things I didn’t write about in the book that I wish I had more courage to write about was recognizing how much of a problem methamphetamines and prescription pill abuse were, particularly in this age group. There are definitely folks getting no support that would give them the option of feeling hopeful. So that was pretty hard.

You said there were 7 girls that withdrew from the book. Is there anything in particular about their experiences that wish you could have written about?

If there was one thing I wish I would have been able to say, it was that young women in rural places carry a lot of weight and responsibility on their shoulders. I think they really have needs and in particular advocacy that we are woefully unable to provide, and I think sex and sexuality was a way for them to feel powerful and in control.

For more about Mary Gray visit her blog.

A long break in blogging. . . And Lulu's

Well, it's been a long time since I've sat down and haven't been too busy or tired to blog. But. . . I've kept a running list of ideas. . . so I have more coming.
I've been hard at work with the paper, meeting new people and discovering the town I live in. And I tried working things out with my ex-girlfriend, but after things still going back and forth with ups and downs way too often. . . we can't take it anymore. We cannot get along for even 3 hours. Oh, I'd love to bore you with lots more details, but i won't.
Lulus.com has some really cute, inexpensive clothes I discovered a while ago. Here are some things that caught my eye:

http://www.lulus.com/products/thar-she-blows-anchor-print-dress/37119.html

 

 

 

http://www.lulus.com/products/foreign-appeal-grey-pants/34795.html

http://www.lulus.com/products/meet-the-parents-black-dress/35805.html

http://www.lulus.com/products/chelsea-crew-sari-navy-canvas-summer-oxford-wedges/34309.html

http://www.lulus.com/products/cityclassified-koala-brown-studded-ankle-strap-chunky-heels/36761.html

Damnit

Those colors pop on Leomie

http://www.beautyisdiverse.com/2011/05/leomie-anderson-in-i-d-magazine-summer-2011/leomie-anderson-i-d-magazine/

Leomie Anderson, model

I like these colors. . . They really pop against her skin tone.

Love the lip balm color

I emailed the beautydepartment to find out what brand/color lip balm Rosie Romantic is wearing in this video. I looooove it!

Pink on Pink

This photo made me do a double take. It's fun and girly!

photo: david mushegain

Ellen is adorable. . .



Look how happy she is! She always gets a kick out of her audience.

And I've liked Portia since I first saw her acting, plus she has the last name of my best friend. But ELLEN. . . I've really discovered her over the past few months. I love her. She's adorable. Funny. Happy. Kind. Appropriate. Ellen and Portia make one nice lookin' couple.

Sweet

 
I don't think I've ever seen Ellen look so good as she does now. That short, choppy crop is flattering. And I like her little sweaters/grandpa cardigans, ties and her kicks resemble golfing shoes.She's a cute dancer. Do you know how old she is? She's 53!!! I couldn't believe it.

Cute couple


Well, I've started recording her show and I really enjoy it. It's funny, cute and entertaining. For some reason, 'lil ol Ellen just does something to me. She makes me smile.

Loves Portia and Dogs

 I've come to look up to her and I think tons of other women should, too. She's a comedian and she doesn't have to be censored and she keeps it clean. I'm always shocked at how much class she has.

Tee hee


Strutting her stuff on the runway.



Then. . . the other day I watched If These Walls Could Talk 2. There was lovely fashion icon Chloe Vagigny. . . I mean Sevigny. There was Michelle Williams. . . Mmm, one of my favorite actresses. Cute AND sexy. Great body. Great actress. Child-like face. There was Sharon Stone- one hot mama who's been around the block. There was Natasha Lyonne- funny girl who's always in interesting movies. Then. . . there she was. . . ELLEN. I loved the movie. Nice scenarios, good cast. Then I saw Ellen getting naked. . . and making love. Did I catch a glimps of her titty? Yes! I kinda felt awkward seeing Ellen's boob. It sorta reminded me of accidentally seeing my mom's boob. . . but it was different. So I reround it. And I watched Ellen make love and show me a sneak peak of titty once more. Oh Ellen. . . Now I'll have to say you're a good actress too. Getting naked for the love of story telling. Nothing beats that!


Wow Ellen!



Nice leather jacket on the left, below

http://www.highsnobiety.com/news/2011/05/04/bal-fallwinter-2011-collection-lookbook/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+highsnobiety%2Frss+%28Highsnobiety.com+-+Online+Streetwear+Magazine%29&utm_content=Yahoo%21+Mail

BAL Fall/Winter 2011 Collection Lookbook

Japanese label BAL presents their Fall/Winter 2011 Collection Lookbook. Comprised of riders jackets by Cyder House, shoes by George Cox, boots by Diemme, down vests by Wild Things, and an assortment of other jackets, sweats, pants and accessories, the series ranks (in accordance with our tastes) as probably the strongest line we’ve seen for FW11 thus far. Well done BAL.

More great clothes at Target!

http://www.highsnobette.com/news/2011/05/04/missoni-x-target-for-fall-2011/

Missoni x Target For Fall 2011

As announced by Vogue, Missoni and Target are collaborating on  a 400-piece assortment  set to be released on September 13th through October 22nd. The line will hit Target stores nationwide! More at Vogue.

Fiona Apple(head)

I always liked Fiona Apple. This is my favorite video of hers. She's so pretty/unique looking, just a bit too skinny. I like videos like this- more solemn and heartfelt.

I just saw this video for the first time. I liked it.

And this video is funny with Zach Galifianakis lip syncing. I still call it lip singing.

Salma Hayek's Breast Moments! Ooh, Mama-sita

http://www.complex.com/girls/2010/09/twos-company-salma-hayeks-best-breast-moments/#gallery

I was checking out Complex's top Latina girls for Cinco de Mayo and I came across this. Salma Hayek's over flowing, supple breasts. Take a look! Personally, my favorites are #30- i remember this was when her nipple popped out on a talk show; #29- I like the way they pop over the top of the dress; #19- prob my favorite.

Who do I look like?

I totally resemble my mother. I guess that's good news that people always thought she was young until she got in her 50's! But, I've always wanted to know if people think I look like anyone else. Here are the famous people I've been told I look like:

Christina Ricci (by my ex boyfriend. We both have brown eyes and big foreheads.)

Baby from Dirty Dancing, Jennifer Gray pre-nose surgery. (Well, I got a bad hair do and when I wear it down I make it wavy like hers, and it's b/c of my schnauze.

Jennifer Tilly: Nice tits, she has! It's probably my kinda squinty eyes that look like her. Maybe our cheeks and the puffs under her eyes. (There were some pretty bad pictures and some extra sexy pictures of her. She's puffed up lately. She looks pretty cute in the pictures I chose.)

Juliette Lewis: I don't see any resemblance, except that I wore a red hat the other day when I was told I look like her, like in the photo below. The person told me I talk like her, look like her and act like her. . . I'm different, he said.

 Maya Rudolph: Haha. Maybe my coloring and our noses. I always say she looks like she smells a fart (flared nostrils)

My order from Mod Cloth



Cooking show dress



Diamonds on your doorstep rug

Group Think with Erykah Badu. . . Naked!

I really thought Erykah Badu's video for "Window Seat" was cool. It was shot in her native city of Dallas, guerrilla style, all one shot. And it had to be one shot and in a hurry. She slowly walks to the spot where JFK was assassinated, strips her clothes off along the way, passes by people and children. . . then a shot rings out and she falls to the ground as if she's dead. In blue blood, "Group Think," is coming out of her head on the pavement.

She got tons of flack for it.
She says, "They who play it safe, are quick to assassinate what they don't understand. They move in packs, ingesting more and more fear with every act of hate on one another. They feel more comfortable in groups, less guilt to swallow. They are us. This is what we have become, afraid to respect the individual."

Ah. . . the benefits of la pina (pineapple). . . and highlights at home

Did you know that pineapple is healing, moisturizing and anti-fungal, which makes it great for burn victims and cuts. . . and it makes your punani taste great!.  For quick at home beauty tips from household items/foods check out the link     http://www.5min.com/Video/Natural-Beauty-Tips-223429627

http://www.stylelist.com/2011/04/23/spray-on-highlights/

Have you been thinking of brightening up your locks this spring? Or even going blond?

If you're like most women, you'd probably want to experiment with blond hair at home before paying hundreds of dollars for a professional hair color treatment that may go wrong.

The beauty team at Refinery29.com have discovered a do-it-yourself product that lightens locks after 3-5 uses -- putting the '90s hair lightener favorite, Sun-In, to shame.

John Frieda's new Go Blonder Controlled Lightening Spray contains a citrus, chamomile and Lightening Complex blend that provides an even blond glow, and a violet dye to shield against unwanted orange color. Bye, bye brassy strands!

Our Refinery29.com friends recommend this hair goodie for root touch-ups, highlight brightening and going ombre, noting that when using heat tools such a blow dryer or flat iron, your hair gets blonder.

However, brown or raven-haired ladies should schedule an appointment with a hair color professional when going lighter.

Let the Hair do the talking

Nice. . . I never knew how to curl my hair when it was longer. I always made mine look like a curled under bob. . . like a mom. AWFUL! This is pretty. Now, I'd like to find one on how to make a curly fro on non-curly, white girl hair. That's becoming popular now. I see it in every magazine.

Summer, here I come!

http://vimeo.com/22898296
I'm not familiar with this brand yet. . . but I really like this video.

Shock me with a G

http://www.highsnobiety.com/news/2011/04/28/g-shock-japan-may-2011-releases/



I love all G-shocks. Great for wearing in the water. So many colors!



Gimme some man shoes.

I kinda like these shoes for a guy or the right chick. I would not wear them for myself, but I like them for someone else.

http://www.highsnobiety.com/news/2011/04/26/visvim-lauda-kiowa-folk/

visvim releases this week the new Lauda Kiowa-Folk sneaker. The high top sneaker comes with leather uppers and stud decoration through out the entire upper. Unlike most other sneakers in the visvim collection, this one looks different and has less of a heritage look and rather a sleek high fashion look, which we find interesting. The tonal upper and used looking mid-sole are a nice combination. Look out for a release of these sneakers this week.

One zig-zag rug and side table to go, please.

Bad photos, but I like this side table from Urban Outfitters.

Another photo that's worse. Love the zig-zag rug that comes in several colors (Urban Outfitters) and that chair, which isn't for sale, is AWESOME!